TO: SHELBY OWNERS OF
AMERICA
RE: FORD PERFORMANCE SHOW
We were
present for the Car Show, Autocross, and Drag Races at the Great
Bend Shelby Show. Our family attends this show regularly. Our
two oldest sons, Jesse (22) and Casey (19) each drive a Mustang
down there along with myself driving one too. This year our
other son Riley (9) plus out two daughters, Bailey (14) and
Wendy (11) attended also. Ed and Debi Rempe, Rich and Nancy
McCoy, Larry Gilchrist, Mike Norton, and Max Bearley Jr. also
attended the car show. Congratulations to out to Larry
receiving a 1st place, Rich and Nancy tie for 1st
place, and runners-up place going out to Mike, Max, and Ed and
Debi. Our family attended the Autocross and Drag Races. Our
boys are into burning rubber and drifting the cars around
corners. Oh well, I like doing it also. Casey and I received
runners-up in the early model class autocross and Jesse went on
to a 3rd place finish plus $100 cash in the drag
races. The best thing was we made it home in one piece without
breaking anything!! One other note, my younger son and two
daughters all got to ride with us in the drag races and
autocross. My oldest daughter, Bailey, who just turned 14,
drove in the autocross fun runs. That made her day and she is
ready for more!!!
Jayme
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU’RE OLD
AND DON’T MOVE FAST ANYMORE
George
Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed when his
wife told him that he’s left the light no in the garden shed,
which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the
back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were
people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who
asked, “Is someone in your house?” and he said “no”. Then they
said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock
his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said,
“Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and phone the police again.
“Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were
people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now
cause I’ve just shot them all.” Then he hung up.
Within 5 minutes, 3
police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up
at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the
Policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot
them!” George said,
“I
thought you said there was nobody available!”
Subject:
Beer Power
You have to
read it all the way to the punch line!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The power
of Beer
A man is
waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and
informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or
legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and
raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 21
years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes
him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and
orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the
bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his
head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Swoooosh!
Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts
into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink
again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!"
The
bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip!
Plop!! Two arms pop out.
The bar
goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink
again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink! Take another
drink!!" The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to
polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the
amazing scenes.
By now the
boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down,
grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two
legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.
The father
falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up
on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the
right through the front door, into the street, where a truck
runs over him and kills him instantly The bar falls silent.
The father
moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,
(Wait
for it)
*
*
*
(It's
coming)
(Ya ready?)
(Don't
hate me)
(Ya
gonna hate me)
(Take
a deep breath)
"He
should've quit while he was a head!"
